How Your Focus Becomes Your Reality.

The probelm with focus starts early in life.

My then 8-year-old daughter had a school project to draw a human face. She said to me: "I am not good at drawing a human face so, I will draw something else." I asked her if she had drawn one before and, she said no.

I then went on to ask her how she came up with such an assumption of something she had never done before. She said to me, "I just know I cannot, I have done something like this before, and it was not good". So, her previous experience was her focus. Thus, she was not going to have another go.

I helped her find a video on Youtube on how to draw a human face, and, in another 40 minutes, I got this beautiful picture of a human face from a little girl who said she was not good at drawing one.

Her focus shifted, after watching the video. If we had done nothing to help with the shift there would have been no picture of a human face!

If you are a parent, can you relate to my experience?

Sadly, the assumption that we cannot do certain things is not peculiar to children alone. Adults also make such assertions. And many times,  it has to do with their focus.

Have you ever said to yourself: "This is too far for me to get to", "I can never lose weight" "I am too short or too tall to do so and so", "I will never be able to write a book (even when you said you have a book in your head) and many other "I cannot" situations?

What you focus on becomes your reality if not checked! It may determine whether you take action or not. When and how fast you get your desired results. Your lens and the angle of your focus are necessary factors. The way you see things ultimately affects you.

In her biography of Warren Buffet, Alice Schroeder wrote about a conversation at a dinner party in the early '90s.

Two billionaires, Warren Buffett and Bill Gates got asked: "What is one factor that contributed to their getting where they were?" And they each said it was their focus. From the time they were children, they knew what they wanted and focussed on reaching their destination.

When you focus on something, it becomes your dream and, you wake up to it each day, putting one brick at a time until you get to your result.

If you have ever felt like you cannot do certain things, you are not alone. Many of us have felt that way, and had to shift our focus to give us a fresh perspective!

Work On Your Focus, How?

Life is like a camera is some ways. Let us take a look at three areas

  • Focus on important things. When you are making decisions, you come face to face with different options and outcomes. Look at where you want to be and create a vision board showing your desired outcome and keep this in view every day. Your vision will motivate you to keep doing the work that will get you to your destination.
  • Capture the good times. Like an experienced photographer never misses a good photo opportunity, never ignore the great things around you, that will help you reach your destination. Instead of looking at what you cannot do, focus on what you can do and get help in doing what you cannot do! Go with the mindset that you are a student ready to learn. You may not have all it takes to get you to your destination, but be willing to learn and ask questions as you go. Be resourceful, use what you already have to get to where you want to be.
  • Develop from the negatives. In photography, negatives are developed when paper and the negatives are place together or when the image from the negatives are projeceted on the paper. When you turn the paper over, you get a positive print. We all go through negative beliefs.  You think you are not good enough. That you are a fraud, and that you need to be perfect. Say no, to these negative beliefs and develop positive beliefs that you can succeed and you do not have to be perfect. Make an inprint of positive ideas on your mind. Have a mindset change.
  • When things do not turn out right, take another shot. We all carry a camera on or device these days. What do you do when your pictures do ot come out right. Stop taking pictures or delete and try again? Do the same thing for real life situations. What if you work so hard and fail? If you do, do not worry, you are in good company. Issac Newton, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Oprah Winfrey and a host of others failed but tried again and again until they eventually achieved their goals. So, do not let temporary setbacks stop you from moving forward. Take another shot!

3 Ways to Increase Your Focus

  • Focus on one thing at a time. If you start too many projects all at once, you may not complete any. Focus on one, complete and then, move to the next. 
  • Build positive connections in your brain. If you constantly feel you cannot do certain things, take a moment to find out where this is coming from to understand the situation better. Is it due to past failures that have now affected how you view future challenges? Remember that just because you got it wrong in the past does not mean you will always get it wrong. Where possible, seek expert help to build your confidence and self-esteem. 
  • Minimize distractions. Your focus becomes blurry with too many distractions. Who does not get distracted these days? Block out time to focus on necessary tasks and put in as much as you can in your allotted time. Turn off notifications on your phone or other devices and learn to say no to human distractions during your time for focussing unless it is necessary.

I am so glad you got to this point, and I want you to read more like this and learn about my 1;1 coaching to help moms over 40 become self-published authors.

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